Is It Worth It, My Dear? - The Book "Sorrow Hung in a Corner of the Wardrobe, Old Stories Fading Away"

Never make someone your priority when you are only one of their options! - A review of Sorrow Hung in a Corner of the Wardrobe, Old Stories Fading Away

Have you ever loved someone so much that

• A single message from them makes you dry your hands and reach for your phone to read it, even when you are in the shower?
• A single date has you spending more than an hour getting ready, afraid they might find fault with you?
• You are always waiting for their messages, and even in a meeting, you do not hesitate to reply right away, losing track of the idea being discussed?
• And then, all it takes is an immediate reply from them to make you happy for the rest of the day, or even the next few days.
• You once saw them as the first & only person who would walk beside you for the rest of your life?
• Whenever you feel stuck, hurt, or overwhelmed by work, they are the first person you think of?
• You can forgive and overlook all their mistakes, time and time again?
• You accept their flaws, even when they go beyond your limits?
• You are willing to set aside your pride to plead, apologize, swallow your anger … things you thought you could never do?

Whatever the circumstances, you always make them your one and only priority for as long as you love them.

Links to order Sorrow Hung in a Corner of the Wardrobe, Old Stories Fading Away:

• Shopee
• Tiki - Money back if you find it cheaper
• Lazada

But they are different. They may only turn to you because:

• They are free, sad, or bored, so they turn to you.
• They reply to your messages only out of politeness.
• They turn to you only because, for the moment, they have no better option.

But, my dear, the truth is that if they really loved you, they would:

• Not leave you waiting for a message or a call until you are frantic with frustration.
• Not leave you crying into your pillow every night when they make a mistake, but instead apologize & love you more.
• Not look for other options when they think you are not quite their perfect choice, but instead accept & love your flaws.
• Not leave you haunted after nights of restless sleep, with a torment that stretched on for nearly ten years and seemed to be over, only to begin again.

That is how it is. Never make them your priority when you are only ever one of their options, or perhaps not even an option at all.

What will you choose?

Will you wait forever to be one of their options, or wait for them to find a better one, or make a choice of your own?

People who see us as an option are, in truth, deeply selfish. So selfish that they do not care about the hurt that torments you every night, every day, even every hour, every minute, every second. If they loved you and cared about you, they would not leave you living with so much sadness, despair, and bitter loneliness, always behind them, watching their figure fade into the distance, waiting for their messages, waiting for them to show up after each time their indifference leaves you upset. You only wish they could understand that feeling, that pain, so they would know how hard you have tried …

And then, after forgiving them so many times, choosing to unblock them and go back, only to discover in the end that you are not even one of their options, but merely a backup lifeline, will you have the courage to make a clean break? Perhaps courage comes from repeated despair; it is just that your feelings are so strong that your courage is not yet enough to overcome them.
Forgiving someone is easy, but trusting them again is incredibly hard. It takes many years to warm a heart, but only a moment to turn it cold.

What you need to do now is keep eating well, keep practicing self-care, keep working, and keep enjoying time with your family, friends & colleagues as usual. After all, if someone cannot even make us a priority, why should we make them ours?

It hurts the most when we hear our own hearts whisper …

“When my daughter grows up, I will tell her: if a man scolds you for not eating on time or not knowing how to look after yourself, and on dark, rainy days reminds you to be careful on your way home from work, … do not pay him any attention. You should be with the person who willingly cooks for you, buys you food, takes you out to eat together, stays by your side to care for you when you are sick, and comes to pick you up after work.”

How can we grasp happiness in life if we keep holding on to the past?

There are always two moments in the day that fill us with longing: dusk and dawn. In the final moments of the day, as twilight falls, we drift back to a place of old memories and longing—missing things we can never find again, things that come and go only once. That place of longing is wrapped within “Sorrow Hung in a Corner of the Wardrobe, Old Stories Fading Away”—a book about the unfinished stories of our twenties, when we might miss our chance with someone we love, an ambition, or a turning point in life.

Those fractures in our twenties may stay with us for many years, but in the end, we can only welcome them back as memories beneath a brilliant golden sunset. Yet Sorrow Hung in a Corner of the Wardrobe, Old Stories Fading Away also holds the dreamy golden light of a new day. It is when we immerse ourselves in old wounds that we learn to cherish and love everything that has passed:

An intimate reflection, a letter to oneself.

…Someone will arrive just as dawn breaks

To hold the wounds of your past for you

They will give you a love that is just enough

To make a whole lifetime as peaceful as a lullaby.

“Sorrow Hung in a Corner of the Wardrobe, Old Stories Fading Away ” is a collection of prose and poetry written by the young people behind Sad boy with phone, offering each of us this message: Today’s sunset is different from yesterday’s, and the person we are this year is very different from who we were years ago. Everything changes according to the laws of nature, and meeting and parting are part of that, too.

How can we grasp happiness in life if we keep holding on to the past? Life is long, and a time will come when old stories fade. May you open your heart to forgiveness, so that tomorrow you can live a peaceful, happy life.

Source: Tien Boi